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Friday, January 30, 2015

Preparing to be a SAHW

Assalammu'alaikum family, friends, readers and followers of this blog.

It is Friday!! Weekend is here, but this entry is pretty intense for me, to be honest.

As you would have known, we made the decision to make myself a Stay At Home Wife as per the entry here. Trust me, the preparation to be one can be pretty overwhelming, if you asked me to be really honest!

I initially thought it would be smooth and simply filled with smiles. However, I ended up shopping a lot because I knew I wouldn't be able to do so once we are on a single income status quo. I mean, me being me, I'd be feeling guilty all over for wanting something for myself over something that the whole family can indulge in and benefit from. If I ever really want something for myself, I would just save it up myself or get it through my own means somehow. That is just me. I don't and can't seem to bring myself to depend on someone for my own benefits alone.

Since the opening of the topic, we talk about it a lot. We even spoke about how we would be celebrating the beginning of my SAHW journey. It makes me happy that my husband is more happy about it than I am, and it makes me proud that my husband is working really hard to make it happen. It scares me a little though that he seemed to double up the hard work so I can achieve this dream earlier than planned.

No matter how scary it is, I am still looking forward to it. And sometimes, cannot wait for it to just happen. I can't wait to submit my resignation letter. I can't wait to tell my boss I am resigning to be a SAHW and not for a better job offer.

So what am I preparing myself for now?

No more personal salary

I have to prepare myself to not have moolah in my bank that is 100% mine, which I don't need to report or explain to anyone how I spend it, or how much I chose to save from it.

When I become a SAHW, I will have to be ready to submit a report on how the money was spent because it is from only one income it will be very important and crucial to keep track on what we spend so we know what we can cut down. Which makes us think a lot on our next point.

Finances

As much as I would say we are pretty much stable, we have to admit that it is because both of us are working and I have been contributing a fair share into the current household expenses.

We both admit that albeit his future (insyaAllah) a better job with a better pay, we have to cut down a lot of our expenses, no matter how we find ourselves thrifty. We have to ensure and be very sure of our priorities as a team. With just one income, we cannot afford to argue who deserves how much more than who. We HAVE to agree and set a limit. We have to have definite figures.

Morning rush

Yeay! This one I love the most! I won't have to chase buses, or explain to anyone why I am late - except if dinner is. Oppss!

Imagine life.... No more squeezing into the bus crowd, no more rushing to get home!
Yeah, no more need to complain about buses not appearing when you need them the most!
No more need to explain why you are late, no more need to apply for day off because I want to send my mom to the doctor. For that I'd say Hooray!

Cut it! It will be a different kind of rush hour when you become a SAHW. For me I think it would be the hour the husband is on his way back, the rush to tidy up what was left, or maybe the rush to get the rice cooking because I was so absorb in cooking, I forget all about the rice. That pretty much describes me. LOL!

And if we are blessed to have children, it will then be the hour they are finishing school, or about maybe the hour they need to be in school. Harsh as it may sound, I think I will be loving it. Anyways, we shall all wait and see when we get there, alright... Too soon to speak, as what many many people say.

No more excuse

Yup, no more excuse to have laundry piling up. No more excuse to not cook. No more excuse to skip chores or mismanage them. If I fall sick, I have to somehow squeeze the chores that needed done on the number of days I need to rest, across the next number of days once I am well.

No more excuses to lack of cleaning too!

Yup, it means, the ceiling fan must be of this condition when you come to visit. 
NO more excuses for any sort of clutter as well. Which means, my room or the entire house will be going through tremendous organizing once I am down to it! My OCD will be brought to life!

However, I now have excuses to stay home. I now have an excuse to fetch baby M. I have an excuse to have lunch with my niece, friend, or anyone I want to - if they want me to. And I have all the time (if I manage them well) to watch all my favorite series!

Recipes



Yes, I am collecting all my recipes to prepare the many weeks of cook days for the husband and family. I rarely cook now, but when I become a SAHW, it wouldn't make sense to still rely on my mother to cook, or to not cook at all.

What's the point of being a SAHW if you don't cook? At least I'd think so. You see, a wife's cooking is marvelous! The food being delicious or otherwise is secondary, the effort and love that is being put into the cooking, is the one that brings a family closer.

Also, it will allow me to rethink how to make a dish more healthier. Afterall my husband has family history of diabetes, among many other chronic disease, so I ought to give that a thought and work to make all my dishes more healthier than anywhere else. It will also protect my children from inheriting unhealthy eating habits.

And perhaps, my healthy dishes would become a hand-me-down recipe to my grandchildren. You know, something that only your family cooks and eats sort of thing.

Having to work for fun!

Yeah, this one I like too! If ever I find that I have a free hour and end up bored to death, my husband said I am more than welcomed to join the work force on a part time basis. On a "for fun" basis. I like the idea of going to work because you don't NEED to. It means I will think less of it as work, I will not over think about who is not liking me at work. And at any sign of distress, I can quit at my will.

So, what is the most dreading point? 

I guess the one that scares me the most is finances. I know for sure, we are not extravagant with our expenditures, I know for sure we never go beyond what we can afford, but I guess I am scared because I will lose the power of my own spending. I will have to ask my husband for a little more if I want to spend on something that is NOT in the list.

Whilst I can tell my mom, "It is okay, this is my money, and I can spend it however I want" now, I will have to tell her, "I have to check with husband" later on when I become a SAHW.

It is not really about surviving on one income that is scaring me, because I know we can, considering our way of life that remains simple no matter how much our salary has grown.

It is the loss of power over my finances that is scaring me. I won't have any power to spend however I want. I won't have the power to wait for my salary so I can buy that new dress. I have to wait till the husband offers me. Or hope for the husband to get me something I've been hinting him to get.

This will take some time to get used to, but I know I will be able to do it. I will be okay with it sooner or later, and we will all be fine. And I have a feeling, we will be better than now.

:)

So, how about you? How was your preparation journey to be a Stay at Home Wife/Mother? Was it hard? Did it go as planned?

Share with me some day!

Till I blog again,
Wassalam,
Jun - the future SAHW blogger. ;)

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